Friday, April 25, 2008

Wonderful LIFE

hey readers sorry your author was gone for the couple of weeks i was busy securing my documents since i got my medical and interview scheduled in May.

and the other thing me and my hubby was busy contacting NVC and USEM so my time aint enough to post something in here those weeks.

btw, i am happy to announced that me and my loverboy got our first wedding anniversary though we are not together yet it wasn't a hindrance to celebrate our wedding anniversay..., and guess what we got the same gift for each other yes a CLOCK lol

well, maybe we both thinking that we are about to be together and almost done with the visa thing lol.

Loverboy, u remain in my heart. I'll see you soon when i got visa in hand. I love you baby!!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

INFIDILITY

In order for them to make a choice, there are a few things that your partner is going to have to honestly evaluate. Have them think about the following questions and then come back to you with a decision.

1. What does the other person really want?
What are their true intentions? When doing this, it is important that your partner trusts his or her own feelings, instincts and experiences with that person.

2. Evaluate the other relationship.
What is the person like as a partner? How do they really treat your partner? Is there a possibility of a lasting relationship? Decide on whether it is a good relationship or not.

3. What does your current partner want?
What are your current partner's true intentions? What do they really want in a relationship?

4. Evaluate the current relationship.
Is this a good relationship? Does it fit the description of the kind of relationship you want? Do they really love you and can you see a future? Was it something in the relationship that caused your partner to stray?

5. Make a final choice.
At this point your partner has to look at all of the data in front of them and make a final choice. If they decide to stay with you, it is up to you to decide whether you can accept it or not. From that point on, you are effectively starting again in the relationship. A broken trust is hard to mend, but not impossible. As long as you are completely honest with each other and work at the relationship, you can overcome any hurdle that crosses your path.

And in all cases, open communication with your partner is extremely important and will provide the most effective solutions. Don't let yourself or your partner fall into the trap of holding things back and not talking about the situation, as that, all in itself, will lead to the end of your relationship, whether you physically break up or not.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

All About FAMILY

Being a parent can be a joy, but it's also a tough job. No parent is perfect. We all make mistakes. Even loving parents sometimes do things they don't mean to do, like yell at a child or call a child a bad name. But if you think you're having trouble controlling yourself, get help so a pattern of abuse doesn't start.

And i suggest YOU - to be patient and as much as you can, avoid nagging, yelling and spanking. Be a friend to your kid/s or your partner.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

TAMPO - Pouting/Sulking

If you’re planning to enter into a relationship with a Filipina, it’s important to gain an understanding of what “tampo” is. Let’s do this in a clinical fashion...

Definition: While the analogy isn’t perfect, you can think of tampo as “pouting” or “sulking”.

Cause: Typically, a Filipina will exhibit tampo when she feels she has been neglected or ignored, but she may also invoke it when she is jealous, or basically anytime her feelings are hurt.

Symptoms: The Filipina will seem withdrawn or sullen. She may be unusually silent, or she may express he dissatisfaction by “whining” in a melodramatic, almost child-like fashion. She may refuse to eat (only in the most severe cases!).

Duration and Severity of Condition: Tampo is a strictly short-term condition and should not be considered life threatening. Tampo is the result of mild dissatisfaction, not of actual anger. The behavior is a cultural norm in the Philippines and a westerner should not be overly concerned the first time he encounters it. Tampo is a very useful tool, because it allows a Filipina to show her displeasure about something you have done. Remember, confrontation is generally unacceptable in Filipino society, so disagreement or displeasure must be expressed indirectly.

Here is an example of tampo: You’re with your fiancée walking hand-in-hand down a crowded street. You notice a beautiful young woman walking toward you wearing a tank top that’s cut way too low, and you can’t tear your eyes away from her. Your fiancée notices this behavior.

A non-Filipina might react by saying, “Put your eyes back in your head! I can’t believe you were staring at that girl right in front of me! What has she got that I haven’t got!?” At which point she may stalk off, cry, or punch you.

A Filipina in that same situation, however, would probably squeeze your hand and say something like, “She’s pretty, di ba?” Then you’d stammer something about not noticing, blah, blah, blah, and you’d think you’d gotten away with it. Yet your fiancée would seem suddenly distant. She’d not proffer her hand to you as you walked together, she’s speak only when spoken to, and she’d probably shrug indifferently when you asked her a question. You’re on the receiving end of tampo.

It’s very important that you understand this: Tampo is merely intended to let you know that you’ve committed some minor offense, for which you must make amends. It is a mild behavioral reprimand that verges on role-playing. The worst thing you could do is to get stressed out over a tampo session, because an over-reaction on your part may escalate the situation to the point that your fiancée or wife becomes genuinely angry.

On the other hand, don’t misdiagnose genuine anger, sadness, or depression as mere tampo. If you’re girlfriend, fiancée or wife seems deeply depressed, that is NOT tampo. If she’s crying hysterically, that is NOT tampo. If she’s hurling dishes at you, that is NOT tampo. Tampo is mild and controlled and is the direct result of some perceived offense of a minor nature. It is short in duration. If an emotional abnormality seems unusually severe or extended in duration, and you cannot identify the cause, it is not tampo, and consequently deserves serious attention.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Give yourself time to Heal

Before immediately jumping back into another serious relationship, give yourself time to deal with what you've been through. It takes hard work to come through a painful breakup in an honest and authentic way, and the last thing you want to do is to short-circuit that growth process by instantly entering another serious romance.

Instead, give yourself permission to date casually, enjoying your time with new and different people and learning to just have fun with people you find interesting.

Then, once you do find someone you might be interested in going deeper with, be patient with yourself in terms of how quickly you open up to this new person in your life. There's no reason you have to go from zero to sixty in a new relationship.

Take your time and offer yourself slowly, watching for how the person responds. Show a few smaller parts of yourself in the beginning; then, if this new person responds in a way that makes you feel safe, try offering a bit more. Over time, then, if you continue to feel that you're being honored and respected as you make yourself increasingly vulnerable, you can begin to open up more and more, showing the larger and deeper parts of who you are -Yeah! Let your trust be Earned.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

TIPS TO OFWs

How to Avoid Illegal Recruitment

* Check name of recruitment agency against the list of agencies licensed by POEA
* If the agency is licensed, check with the POEA Accreditation Branch if the recruiter has a current job order
* Allowable placement fee is equivalent to one month salary exclusive of documentation and processing costs.
* Don’t pay any placement fee unless you have a genuine employment contract
* Don’t accept a tourist visa. Demand a working visa
* Don’t deal with a fixer
* Don’t be enticed by advertisements requiring you to reply to a Post Office (P.O.) Box, and to enclose payment for processing of papers
* Avoid training centers and travel agencies who promise overseas employment


Are you a victim of illegal recruitment?

The following are considered acts of illegal recruitment as defined by RA 8042 and are basis for filing illegal recruitment cases:

* Recruiting and charging or accepting fees without proper license or authority to recruit.
* Furnishing or publishing any false notice or information or document in relation to recruitment or employment.
* Giving any false notice, testimony, information or document or committing any act of misrepresentation for the purpose of securing license or authority under the Philippine Labor Code
* Inducing or attempting to induce a worker already employed to quit his employment in order to offer him to another.
* Influencing or attempting to influence any person or entity not to employ any worker who has not applied for employment through his agency.
* Recruiting workers in jobs harmful to public health or morality or to the dignity of the Republic of the Philippines
* Obstructing or attempting to obstruct inspection by the Secretary of Labor and Employment or by his duly authorized representative
* Substituting or altering to the prejudice of the worker, employment contracts approved and verified by the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) from the time of actual signing thereof by the parties up to and including the period of the expiration of the same without the approval of the DOLE.
* Withholding or denying travel documents from applicant workers before departure for monetary or financial considerations other than those authorized under the labor code
* Failure to actually deploy worker(s) without valid reasons as determined by the Department of Labor and Employment
* Failure to reimburse expenses incurred by the worker in connection with his documentation and processing for purposes of deployment, in cases where the deployment does not actually take place without the worker’s fault.


File your complaints at:
Legal Assistance Division

Anti-Illegal Recruitment Branch, 4th Floor, POEA Building or the nearest POEA/DOLE regional office; NBI, PNP, Police Authorities in your area.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Compliments

A compliment is a beautiful thing. It has the ability to make us shine from the inside..., letting us know we're on the right track with something, it also communicates that someone noticed. This can be a powerful validation, especially when given by our partner.

To increase the communication and rapport with your partner, you'll find ways to take a few minutes to notice what your partner is doing right and let them know.

Look for one thing each day that your partner has done or handled well. Make sure to make a comment on it.

For example, "I noticed that you works our house and gardens great. Nice job!" or "You really do a great job. I really appreciate the extra effort you give."

Take note of a few routine cycles your partner does throughout the week. Leave a note where they would usually do the task telling them how well they do it.

Each day make some comment on their appearance or how you feel about them. For example, "You look great today." "That cologne smells wonderful." "You're handsome/sexy!"

If you have time, write them a letter or a note inside of a card sharing the things you appreciate and feel lucky for. Mail it or leave it in a spot they will find and can read privately.

Have a wonderful relationship to us all.... mwaah!! mwaaahh!!

Friday, April 4, 2008

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Thursday, April 3, 2008

More Days to COUNT

I would like to share some exciting journey of my visa application..., a friend from Montana adviced us to call NVC after 2 or 3 weeks. I remind my asawa to call NVC today so we will know what we are going to do next.

Luckily, i have MNL Case # so more days or months to count....,but at least they process my visa application for me to have an appointment for medical and interview in manila. Praying for my approval pretty soon i hope.


Mostly of us says "Love Conquers all" hmmmm in many ways and i want the people know that my love really exist the best i can.

I'm getting closer to you loverboy so get ready lol LOVE YAH!!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Six habits of happily married couples

HABIT #1 - GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. You must stay focused on the ultimate goal -- which is to give each other pleasure and not cause pain. It sounds simple enough, but can be very hard in practice.

For just one day, try to maintain a consciousness with everything you do, by asking yourself, "Is what I'm about to do or say going to cause my spouse pain or pleasure?"

To monitor how you're doing, each of you should make two lists: One for all the things your spouse does to cause you pain, and another which identifies what you would like your spouse to do to give you pleasure. Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more mind reading!


HABIT #2 - CREATE MUTUALLY SATISFYING LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following "greeting ritual" at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, "Let's eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!"

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

How are your greeting and goodbye rituals?


So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a "date night" at least every other week.


HABIT #3 - CREATE A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS ISSUES OPENLY AND HONESTLY

Abusive relationships are ones in which you are afraid to express feelings and opinions. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. This sense of safety is the foundation upon which a couple negotiates things that are bothering them.

It's common for each person to come into a relationship with certain expectations about how things will be. But without the ability to communicate and negotiate, these issues become sources for power struggles that almost always damage the relationship.

HABIT #4 - USE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO RESOLVE HOT ISSUES

The technique that every couple must learn is called the "listener-speaker technique." The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Only after each person has been fully heard, do you proceed to problem solving.


Here's how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully "heard," do you then proceed to problem solving.


HABIT #5 - CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY


When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear -- or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of "turning toward" as opposed to "turning away."

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other.


Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.

Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, learning Torah together, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect -- by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it's a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who "turn away" from each other don't develop closeness. It's a basic principle stated in the Talmud, "A good deed begets another good deed. A bad deed begets another bad deed."


HABIT #6 - INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING


I often ask singles the following question: "After you're married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?" And I usually follow-up by saying, "And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?"

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.


Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose. This is why couples who observe Shabbat together, and learn Torah together, have great sources of meaning built into their lives.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are visiting the sick together, making a shiva call together, or preparing a meal together for a mother who just gave birth.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

******** ty dqq ******